...Even When Plans Change

'He must become greater and greater; I must become less and less.' - John 3:30

Amy and I had ‘planned’ on attending/chaperoning Hume San Diego w/ Blake’s Junior High Group and six other awesome leaders from Peoples Church. It was our ‘plan’ that Amy would be recovering from throat surgery and ‘taking it easy’ from the comfort of a room overlooking the Pacific Ocean on the Point Loma University campus. After Amy closed my office door early last week and tearfully shared that the biopsy revealed ‘cancer’ in her thyroid …well, so much for our plans. Because Amy and I are both ‘planners’, we began to brainstorm backup Plan A, B, C, etc… One thing was certain; our plans were about to change.

Several years ago I ‘re-learned’ the profound truth that for me to love someone …it must be how THEY want to be loved – which is often very different from how I would naturally want to love them. When Amy shared her strong wish/desire that I take the kids to Hume SD ‘without’ her so that they wouldn’t have their plans changed and that she could be nursed back to health by family and friends in Fresno – well honestly …I didn’t like that plan. 18 years ago when we exchanged vows to be faithful ‘in sickness and in health’ …traveling to San Diego while my wife recovered from cancer surgery without me wasn’t on the list of remote possibilities.

As we loaded up 40 Junior High students in the bus my daughter Paige assumed Amy’s co-pilot shotgun position in my truck and played the role of navigator, DJ, photographer, color commentator and of course 9 year old girl. Not only has the Hume staff rallied around my family, but also our leaders and students have made Paige their little sister / mascot. My soon to be 13 year old son Blake doesn’t think this is awesome …but even he seems to be enjoying himself (despite his sisters presence).

Every day Paige and I have either called/FaceTime’d Amy and exchanged warm greetings and well wishes. Amy has received incredible care from her Nurse ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ …in addition to countless extended family and friends who have played chef, encourager, movie watcher, etc… during this past week. It seems like the change of plans is working out.

Around camp this week I’ve seen several people wearing clothing with the simple equation ‘HE>i’. The inspiration for this clothing line comes from the Bible verse found in John 3:30 which says… 'He must become greater and greater; I must become less and less.' It dawned on me this evening as my fellow youth pastors / Hume staff prayed for Amy’s recovery and our families strength that truly God’s plans are greater than my plans.

I would never want the events of the past two weeks to be repeated, but I can say with confidence that God can cause ALL things to work together for the good …even cancer. This week I’ve made a connection with my daughter that I will NEVER forget …and for that I’m thankful. This week I’ve seen my son smiling, learning and having a blast surfing w/ his friends …and for that I’m thankful. This week I’ve seen my wife strengthen and heal through the prayers of many and the caring hands of a few …and for that I’m thankful.

Thank you for taking a moment to read these thoughts, which have been formed into words. It is my hope that the perspective I’ve shared will be either an encouragement, challenge or reminder for you to see and believe that God is love and His plan is for our good …even when plans change.

Grace & Peace,

bd

An Open Letter/Update From Amy

Last week I (Amy) had surgery to remove part of my thyroid. Some of you knew- most of you didn’t. It wasn’t really a big deal. Being the introvert that I am, it was easier for me to deal with it privately and not let anyone fuss over me.

This past November I felt like I had something stuck in my throat. Tests showed a large tumor on my left thyroid lobe. Biopsies showed it to be non-cancerous at this point. Surgery was recommended due to some difficulty swallowing. I scheduled the surgery for after school let out, mostly for convenience’s sake.

The surgery went well. They removed the thyroid half with the (racquetball sized... what??) growth, waited for the pathologist to confirm that it was cancer free, then glued me back together and sent me home with half a thyroid. One small piece of extra information is that the doctor noticed a lymph node nearby and for good measure sent it off to the final pathologists too. No big deal.

Recovery has been a little icky. Tired and nauseous. Nothing out of the ordinary. Today, one week later, I did my hair and put on a dress for my follow up appointment expecting to be bored by the information that I had already been given. I was in for a little surprise…

As expected- that big old tumor was completely cancer free. That little lymph node, however, was not. I have thyroid cancer that is probably originating from the side of my thyroid that is still in tact. SO not the news I was expecting to hear.

The upside is that thyroid cancer is very slow growing and is one of the most treatable forms of cancer. Long term prognosis is good. I did that research all along and used the information to make my family and friends feel better about the first surgery/tumor. I am now being challenged to believe my own words, “Worst case scenario, if it IS cancer it is treatable”. (As quoted by me, to my family morning of surgery. Totally thinking that it would not happen!).

I am not scared. What I feel right now is more inconvenienced than anything else… This is not how I planned to spend my summer! More surgery (I do not wake up from anesthesia very gracefully), more tests, & cancer treatments. Whose idea was this anyway?? Then I must remember that I serve a mighty God who knew about this all along. His plan is ALWAYS greater than mine. I am super annoyed by the HE>i bumper stickers, but their message rings true today.

This is being sent out mostly because I want you to hear it from me, not the rumor mill. Yes, I have cancer. No, I am not scared. I am thankful for your prayers and encouragement as we take the next steps. I remain mindful that they are steps and we must take them one at a time. I will choose not to overreact or under-react because either one of those options diminishes the promise found in 2 Corinthians 12:9... 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

We will keep you posted, as the need arises. In the meantime, assume that “No news is good news”.

~ Amy