An Amy Update - July 1, 2015

Amy Bumped Into A Friend In The Lobby Of The Disneyland Hotel

BTW: the scar from Amy's surgeries is healing nicely

The past several weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion and experiences. Thank you so much for your concern, encouragement and prayers. To keep you up-to-date on developments …I wanted to forward an email Amy wrote to the Fresno Christian staff that I feel sums up things nicely.

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Hello Fresno Christian Friends,

Some of you have been following along via my blog deffenbacherdaily.blogspot.com (part health update, part seeing God in the everyday stuff). But, I realized today that for the rest of you, the last you heard was that I received a diagnosis of Thyroid Cancer on June 9. I figure it is time for an update!

To date, I have had two surgeries the second of which was much more difficult than the first. The cancer is Atypical Thyroid Cancer because it is not coming primarily from the thyroid. It is thyroid cancer in my lymph nodes. BTW: sounds way scarier than it should!

I have been very well taken care of by my family. I am particularly thankful for my husband Brent who, against his wishes but per my request, proceeded with taking the kids on a previously planned trip to San Diego. Them being gone for one week allowed me the opportunity to rest and recover while knowing that they were happily distracted. Thanks are also in order for my mom and dad who babysat me all week!

Medically speaking, my next steps are as follows: a 4-6 week waiting period for my body to adjust to having no thyroid, a full body scan to determine the scope of what cancer is left, then an oral radiated iodine treatment (will take about a week sometime in September). The good news is that regardless of how much or how little cancer there is, the treatment is the same and it is very effective.

Right now I feel pretty good and expect the improvement to continue. Be encouraged that I am doing well enough that both of my doctors cleared me to attend PowerSchool University that runs this week Sunday through Thursday in Southern California. (Work Note: If you have a PowerSchool question you want me to try & get an answer for, send it my way!).

I am grateful for your prayers and the kind words you have sent my way. This is certainly not how I had hoped to spend the summer, but I'm choosing to step through it knowing that there is always a greater purpose than my plans could ever hope to accomplish. I hope you are finding ways to rest, recharge, and stay cool! Enjoy Summer's change of pace. We will be seeing each other again before we know it.

Better Together,

Amy Deffenbacher

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What Amy didn't mention is that the Conference is being hosted at the Disneyland Convention Center which made it possible for the four of us to spend evenings together in the park and some fun moments throughout the days. 

Paige Pointing Out Where Her Mom Was Working

BTW: Amy thought we were 'creepers' 

...Even When Plans Change

'He must become greater and greater; I must become less and less.' - John 3:30

Amy and I had ‘planned’ on attending/chaperoning Hume San Diego w/ Blake’s Junior High Group and six other awesome leaders from Peoples Church. It was our ‘plan’ that Amy would be recovering from throat surgery and ‘taking it easy’ from the comfort of a room overlooking the Pacific Ocean on the Point Loma University campus. After Amy closed my office door early last week and tearfully shared that the biopsy revealed ‘cancer’ in her thyroid …well, so much for our plans. Because Amy and I are both ‘planners’, we began to brainstorm backup Plan A, B, C, etc… One thing was certain; our plans were about to change.

Several years ago I ‘re-learned’ the profound truth that for me to love someone …it must be how THEY want to be loved – which is often very different from how I would naturally want to love them. When Amy shared her strong wish/desire that I take the kids to Hume SD ‘without’ her so that they wouldn’t have their plans changed and that she could be nursed back to health by family and friends in Fresno – well honestly …I didn’t like that plan. 18 years ago when we exchanged vows to be faithful ‘in sickness and in health’ …traveling to San Diego while my wife recovered from cancer surgery without me wasn’t on the list of remote possibilities.

As we loaded up 40 Junior High students in the bus my daughter Paige assumed Amy’s co-pilot shotgun position in my truck and played the role of navigator, DJ, photographer, color commentator and of course 9 year old girl. Not only has the Hume staff rallied around my family, but also our leaders and students have made Paige their little sister / mascot. My soon to be 13 year old son Blake doesn’t think this is awesome …but even he seems to be enjoying himself (despite his sisters presence).

Every day Paige and I have either called/FaceTime’d Amy and exchanged warm greetings and well wishes. Amy has received incredible care from her Nurse ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ …in addition to countless extended family and friends who have played chef, encourager, movie watcher, etc… during this past week. It seems like the change of plans is working out.

Around camp this week I’ve seen several people wearing clothing with the simple equation ‘HE>i’. The inspiration for this clothing line comes from the Bible verse found in John 3:30 which says… 'He must become greater and greater; I must become less and less.' It dawned on me this evening as my fellow youth pastors / Hume staff prayed for Amy’s recovery and our families strength that truly God’s plans are greater than my plans.

I would never want the events of the past two weeks to be repeated, but I can say with confidence that God can cause ALL things to work together for the good …even cancer. This week I’ve made a connection with my daughter that I will NEVER forget …and for that I’m thankful. This week I’ve seen my son smiling, learning and having a blast surfing w/ his friends …and for that I’m thankful. This week I’ve seen my wife strengthen and heal through the prayers of many and the caring hands of a few …and for that I’m thankful.

Thank you for taking a moment to read these thoughts, which have been formed into words. It is my hope that the perspective I’ve shared will be either an encouragement, challenge or reminder for you to see and believe that God is love and His plan is for our good …even when plans change.

Grace & Peace,

bd

An Open Letter/Update From Amy

Last week I (Amy) had surgery to remove part of my thyroid. Some of you knew- most of you didn’t. It wasn’t really a big deal. Being the introvert that I am, it was easier for me to deal with it privately and not let anyone fuss over me.

This past November I felt like I had something stuck in my throat. Tests showed a large tumor on my left thyroid lobe. Biopsies showed it to be non-cancerous at this point. Surgery was recommended due to some difficulty swallowing. I scheduled the surgery for after school let out, mostly for convenience’s sake.

The surgery went well. They removed the thyroid half with the (racquetball sized... what??) growth, waited for the pathologist to confirm that it was cancer free, then glued me back together and sent me home with half a thyroid. One small piece of extra information is that the doctor noticed a lymph node nearby and for good measure sent it off to the final pathologists too. No big deal.

Recovery has been a little icky. Tired and nauseous. Nothing out of the ordinary. Today, one week later, I did my hair and put on a dress for my follow up appointment expecting to be bored by the information that I had already been given. I was in for a little surprise…

As expected- that big old tumor was completely cancer free. That little lymph node, however, was not. I have thyroid cancer that is probably originating from the side of my thyroid that is still in tact. SO not the news I was expecting to hear.

The upside is that thyroid cancer is very slow growing and is one of the most treatable forms of cancer. Long term prognosis is good. I did that research all along and used the information to make my family and friends feel better about the first surgery/tumor. I am now being challenged to believe my own words, “Worst case scenario, if it IS cancer it is treatable”. (As quoted by me, to my family morning of surgery. Totally thinking that it would not happen!).

I am not scared. What I feel right now is more inconvenienced than anything else… This is not how I planned to spend my summer! More surgery (I do not wake up from anesthesia very gracefully), more tests, & cancer treatments. Whose idea was this anyway?? Then I must remember that I serve a mighty God who knew about this all along. His plan is ALWAYS greater than mine. I am super annoyed by the HE>i bumper stickers, but their message rings true today.

This is being sent out mostly because I want you to hear it from me, not the rumor mill. Yes, I have cancer. No, I am not scared. I am thankful for your prayers and encouragement as we take the next steps. I remain mindful that they are steps and we must take them one at a time. I will choose not to overreact or under-react because either one of those options diminishes the promise found in 2 Corinthians 12:9... 

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

We will keep you posted, as the need arises. In the meantime, assume that “No news is good news”.

~ Amy

Happy Thanksgiving From The Deffenbacher Family!

Happy Thanksgiving From The Deffenbacher Family!

The past year has brought many exciting changes to our family. Because we have recently moved to our new home in Clovis while simultaneously experiencing a massive data-transfer fail (ie, lost most of our contact list) this is our 'early' Holiday greeting/update/card. We have much to be thankful for.

Blake (12, 7th grade) surprised us all by playing on the Junior High football team and quickly became the starting ‘snapper’. In addition to riding his Yamaha dirt bike ‘too fast’ for his parents liking, Blake enjoys spending quality time with his Grandparents, Uncles, Cousins and Student Ministries friends.

Paige (9, 3rd grade) loves to sing on the worship team, take dance and piano lessons, play soccer and spend time with people. This summer Paige made the decision to be baptized in the Pacific Ocean… which was a highlight for Brent who had the privilege of participating.

Amy transitioned from the classroom into administration this school year by becoming the Dean of Students (aka: Principal) for Fresno Christian Schools. On a regular basis Amy interacts with students, parents, teachers and the public to create an environment where students grow academically, socially, and spiritually. A ‘perk’ of her job is that Blake and Paige go to school with her every day and she can be present and formative in their education.

Brent continues to enjoy his Adjunct Professor role in the Business School of Fresno Pacific University. In September of this year he accepted the call to become the Family Life Pastor for the Peoples Church in Fresno. In addition to overseeing ministries from birth-young adults, Brent leads teams, equips leaders and teaches on a regular basis. A ‘perk’ of his job is that Peoples Church and Fresno Christian share a campus, which means he gets to see Amy and the kids on a daily basis.

Its been said, “One true constant in life is change.” As a family we’ve experienced our fair share of change over the past 18 years, but our friends family and faith have stayed true. Heading into this holiday season our prayer for your family is that wherever this update may find you, you would know that there are four people who love you and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year.

Grace & Peace,

Brent, Amy, Blake & Paige Deffenbacher

September 1, 2014: Labor Day Update

If you are reading this blog post you are either a (1) long time friend checking in to see what’s new with the Deffenbacher family, (2) newer friend checking out these Deffenbacher people, or (3) cyber-stranger who I hope finds encouragement and confidence in the truth that God is Good, and if life isn’t Good right now…He’s not Done.

Looking Back

A little over a year ago we strongly sensed that the Lord was both calling and preparing a way for our family to return to California. Leaving a city, church family and friends that we loved deeply was a loss that we surprisingly grieved for the better part of the past year. Amy’s ‘dream job’ at Fresno Christian turned out to be more of a ‘nightmare’, and my intentional step away from full-time vocational church ministry at times seemed both foolish and irresponsible.

One of the big motivators for our move back to Fresno was to be closer to our immediate family. Even as Amy and I struggled to become settled in this new season, our kids seemed to be thriving at Fresno Christian and thrilled to be closer to their Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and especially their Cousins.

2014 – The Year of Trusting God’s Timing

I’ve heard it said that God is seldom early, never late, but always on time. Waiting on the Lord’s timing has proven to be one of those topics that I’ve historically enjoyed preaching-on, but haven’t really enjoyed living-out. This past year has been an epic saga in trusting the Lord, leaning not on my own understanding, and believing that He will direct and provide a purposeful path.

Here is a snapshot of my path…

Over the course of the past year the Lord has been incredibly gracious to provide regular preaching opportunities, part-time ministry assignments, and consulting contracts in addition to my role as an Adjunct Professor at Fresno Pacific University. Through this process it became increasingly obvious that the Lord was preparing me to re-enter into full time vocational ministry within the local church. What was not as ‘clear’ was when and where this would happen ...until recently.

Peoples Church

20 years ago I was given the opportunity to ‘cut my teeth’ in church ministry as a Junior High Intern at the Peoples Church in Fresno, California. Peoples Church exposed me to and prepared me for a launch into ministry. I have had the privilege to serve at churches like NorthPointe, Calvary, Northwest, and NewHope in roles ranging in title from Youth/Student Ministries/Emerging Generations Pastor to Spiritual Formations/Associate/Interim/Co-Lead/Lead and Senior Pastor.

Two decades later I am once again privileged to be joining the Peoples Church staff as the Family Life Pastor. In this role I will be working with teams of pastors, staff, adult leaders and parents to oversee the spiritual formation and development of children (age 0) through young adults (college age). I’m honored to come alongside Pastor Dale and the very talented team of pastors/staff/directors in this capacity to help people see God and participate in his redemptive story.

An Amy Update

For those who stay up to date w/ our family on social media, you are aware that Amy recently transitioned from the classroom when she assumed the Dean of Students role at Fresno Christian. Amy’s skill set as a godly educator who is organized and gracious with people (students, parents and faculty) have already made a huge impact on the culture of Fresno Christian. It brings me great joy to see Amy personally at peace, joyful and thriving in her career.

Friends reading this from afar couldn’t possibly make the connection that Fresno Christian Schools meet on the Peoples Church campus. What this means for our family is that Sunday-Friday we not only worship together, but also work and learn together on the same campus. FYI: it was never ‘our’ plan to both be working full-time jobs, but in the sovereignty of God’s plan ‘He’ knew and has provided an opportunity where we truly are better together partnering in ministry and life.

The Life Lesson We Have Learned

One year ago today we could have never scripted the pieces of life’s puzzle that are now coming together. In full transparency, the moments we tried to control what seemed to be out of control …the worse it got. On more than one occasion our faith was tested (James 1:2-4) because the circumstances of life, quite frankly, sucked. It was during these times of trial (1 Peter 1:7) that we doubled down on our confidence in the truth that God really does hold the whole world in his hands. Friend, God is Good. (Ephesians 3:20) He has an incredibly good plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11-13). If the conditions of your life are not good …God’s not done! (Romans 8:28)

Looking Ahead

This Fall Blake has decided to play football …which is only slightly more concerning than his obsession with jumping and racing his motorcycle on the dirt track at the ranch. BTW: At age 12, Blake’s feet have grown to size 10.5 (mine are 11) and he is even outgrowing shorts!

Paige Marley will be turning nine this month and continues to pursue the arts with a passion as she is currently taking both dance and piano lessons. As a former player myself, I’m thrilled that she is scheduled to be starting up Soccer this month.

In Closing

Waiting on the Lord’s timing in life is one of the greatest ways I have personally discovered that He will grow our faith. God is seldom early, never late, but always on time. My prayer for you, in closing, is that something I’ve shared in this post could be of encouragement to you in this journey called life and that you would trust Jesus to direct and provide a purposeful path for your future.

Grace & Peace,

Brent & Amy Deffenbacher